Looking forward to our weak team

I often envy supporters of Manchester United and Arsenal not because of their massive success but for their opportunities to see the up-and-comers in the team in action against the other players of the Premier League, rather than opposing reserves.

So, if Ferguson and Harry are to be believed I will get half my wish as both will be putting out reserve sides on the weekend. I have been annoyed by the gutless performances of many of our first-team regulars and at the same time bemused by Harry’s insistence on playing them week after week. Malbranque, sold by the idiot from Spain, was our only top tackler. O’Hara is game but has the same timing as Paul Scholes. We are a stand-off team. We never impose ourselves. We lack heart, guts and other internal organs and were simply lucky in our recent ‘victory’ at Burnley.

I crave to see more of Giovanni dos Santos (good enough to get substantial pitch time at Barcelona) and Adel Taraabt (“a genius”- Harry Redknapp). John Bostock (“Teenage sensation” -Sky Sports May 14th 2008) was meant to be a great talent with big teams (Chelsea offere 900,000 for him at 14yrs) after him but he gets barely 15 minutes despite Harry making promises (“Bostock to get chance”- Sky Sports November 2008). I would say his promise to give youth a chance had a lot to do with his honeymoon from the subsequent increased work ethic.

Peckhart. Obika. Rocha. Dervitte. How much more klutzy than Bale on Ekotto could a youth team left back be? At least he might spend less time on his hair and more concentrating on the round thing the game is centered upon. Chris Gunter has made less mistakes vs pitch time than either Bale or Ekotto (although, admittedly, gives less going forward).

I know Frazier Campbell is only on loan but he is a worker trying to impress. And Darren bent can piss off if he’s unwilling to put in the work rate. You’re not Berbatov, buddy- you need to try a lot harder if you don’t have the same silky skills or some football genius.

The good news is that the best players on the pitch, apart from Pavlyuchenko, are working hard. Defoe, Modric, Lennon, Woodgate and Dawson. King gets let off from the hard work for injury. O’Hara and Ghaly are the other hard workers but some stupide arseholes booed one off the field. It guts me to see Lennon closing down opposition fullbacks only to look over and see the only other player doing similar is O’Hara.

Our weakened part-timers for the FA Cup:

Alnwick in goal. Gwan- give the lad another shot.

Defence: At right back Zokora because I think it’s actually, potentially, his best position and love to see those forward runs- he can also keep pace with Ronaldo coming back, or Gunter of Harry wants Zokora rested for tough-tackling stoke. In the center Rocha & a youth player, or Woodgate if he’s fit as it would be nice for Rocha to play a game alongside someone strong. At left back anyone except Bale or Ekotto. (Leigh Mills any good? Dorian Dervitte? Anyone out there got an aunt who plays a little footie and has more than 12 IQ points?)

A three man midfield of O’Hara and Ghaly (never going to happen*) for some tackling presence with Adel Taraabt or Bostock (and Jenas for a little while to see of he’s willing to commit like he used to). Realistically, though, KP Boateng for Ghaly (except he’s left on loan- so much for realism) or Bentley with instructions that he has to make a minimum of 10 tackles in the game (Mascherano, the PL top tackler, does 1 every 13 minutes on average, say Opta, but Bentley has a lot to make up for).

Up front give me Peckhart or Obika to start supported by Giovanni dos Santos on the left and Frazier Cmpbell on the right (except he can’t as he’s on loan from ManUre) so Luka Modric or whichever of Taraabt or Jenas doesn’t make it in midfield.

Some youngsters and fringe players supported by hard workers, tough tacklers and a spirited Spurs travelling support. Even if we lose I want to watch that.

*especially since he just left for Saudia Arabia