Envious of Everton. How could it be true? Everton aren’t playing particularly good football (regardless of their league position). I wouldn’t even be surprised if ‘Arry managed to overhaul them by the end of the season.

Everton don’t have any really awesome players. Their top man, Arteta, is good but has a habit of going anonymous for long periods of games.

Everton don’t have a manager of genius or awesomeness or the finances to genuinely challenge for a top 4 position in the PL on a regular basis. Everton are, best case, a regular UEFA Cup team in the modern era.

Envious of Everton? You’re having a laugh!

Except I am. A little. Everton have spirit. Everton are a team. Everton have players who are committed. Everton have a manager who has the backing of his board- to the wire, and can therefore focus on the pitch. Everton are a side a fan can get behind. They have a team forged through adversity and fire, good times and bad and with the backing (key) of a stable Chairman.

I support the richest club in the world outside of the Champions League. A club capable of all sorts of wonderful things. A club with an expensively assembled squad and a club with no soul.

Almost.

Michael Dawson. Jamie O’Hara. Ledley King.

As a fan I have never, ever had to question the commitment of any of those three on the pitch. Two are not the most skilled players in the squad but skill means nothing without commitment and the desire to make a difference.

Two others who were on that list were sold by (spit) Juande Ramos.

Robbie Keane. Steed Malbranque. One has returned.

All this bitching. Why do I stay with Spurs? The fans. A bunch of tossers on occasion (me included) just like every other fan but a group of people to whom good football is more important than trophies. Want proof? Two of the most vilified managers of recent history (Ramos and Graham) were the only two to bring us silverware. Spurs fanatics care about quality football not just the bottom line. Football fanatics.

If the finance industry was run on the ethos Spurs fans hold dear we would be in less crap. Quality of play over bottom line.

I back Harry to do the business next year and make sure any envy of any other team dies… if Levy lets him.

Everyone is talking about Red Cards again since some horrendous calls this weekend that turned games.

The solution in filmed games is beyond simple: “replace” the Red Card with and Orange one. An Orange card is shown where the referee thinks he has seen a Red Card infringement and informs the crowd where the offence was caused and what it was for. Play resumes whilst video evidence is reviewed.

The referee is informed whether the Orange Card was really a Red or possibly just a Yellow Card. At the next halt of play the player is called (if necessary) and showed the Orange Card again (to remind the crowd) followed by the appropriate Red or Yellow.

The fact that the player might make a match winning move in the 2 or 3 minutes of waiting for a decision is far preferable to the wrong player being sent off for the remainder of a match.

Red Cards are then the exclusive control of a television referee unless the event was not caught on camera, under which circumstances the Orange does automatically become Red.

Midnightjester’s drug- induced, deluded (rest of the) season projection (part 1)

Sunday 18th January PL

Bouyed by the taunting of what is almost an ex-Judas pining, no doubt, for his Fjord Cortina the Lillywhites, led by the spirited performances of Aaron Lennon, Michael Dawson and Jamie O’Hara, put away a pony coastal team led by an ex-Gooner with limited talent and an odd nose. (so close to true)

Wednesday 21st January LC

A side from Tottenham, unrecognisable from some previous, rather disasterous, games and filled with talented youths due their chance to shine, steps out onto the hollowed (or at least severly divoted) ground of Burnley football club and make it all look oh-so-easy as they book themselves a Carling Cup final for the second year running. (well, I got the ultimate result right!)

Saturday 24th January FAC

A team of nasty reds (communists, no doubt) get their invitation to Manchester accepted against the better judgement of all those in the south of England. The team travel north beyond the line of safety onto mythical ‘B’ roads and into the lands where the maps say “here be dragons.” They return, having played 12 men (one garbed in a strange strip and sporting a whistle) with a well earned draw after a 90th minute goal. (so close… again)

Tuesday 27th January PL

A fierce band of warriors in white are seen to put to the sword a bunch of stripey, aggressive, grime-covered northerners as the Lilywhites find their spinal columns and taste for a battle beyond ordinary football. The game is tight for the first 20 minutes until the second goal sails past their keeper and then the floodgates open. The visitors blame the unnatural heat of above-zero temperatures, something unknown in their homeland, for affecting their game.

Saturday 31st January

The end of the month of “Janus, God of the doorway” sees Spurs visit a giant shoe and find the old lady who lives there even uglier than anticipated. The hag is, though, kind enough to open the door to the upper ends of the Premier League table by using only force and predictable, mindless tactics. No match for the brave, pure boys from White Hart Lane.

January ends with our heroes in 10th position on the table and ready to push on to new, heroic heights and ready to deliver silverware for the fans to drink from.

I often envy supporters of Manchester United and Arsenal not because of their massive success but for their opportunities to see the up-and-comers in the team in action against the other players of the Premier League, rather than opposing reserves.

So, if Ferguson and Harry are to be believed I will get half my wish as both will be putting out reserve sides on the weekend. I have been annoyed by the gutless performances of many of our first-team regulars and at the same time bemused by Harry’s insistence on playing them week after week. Malbranque, sold by the idiot from Spain, was our only top tackler. O’Hara is game but has the same timing as Paul Scholes. We are a stand-off team. We never impose ourselves. We lack heart, guts and other internal organs and were simply lucky in our recent ‘victory’ at Burnley.

I crave to see more of Giovanni dos Santos (good enough to get substantial pitch time at Barcelona) and Adel Taraabt (“a genius”- Harry Redknapp). John Bostock (“Teenage sensation” -Sky Sports May 14th 2008) was meant to be a great talent with big teams (Chelsea offere 900,000 for him at 14yrs) after him but he gets barely 15 minutes despite Harry making promises (“Bostock to get chance”- Sky Sports November 2008). I would say his promise to give youth a chance had a lot to do with his honeymoon from the subsequent increased work ethic.

Peckhart. Obika. Rocha. Dervitte. How much more klutzy than Bale on Ekotto could a youth team left back be? At least he might spend less time on his hair and more concentrating on the round thing the game is centered upon. Chris Gunter has made less mistakes vs pitch time than either Bale or Ekotto (although, admittedly, gives less going forward).

I know Frazier Campbell is only on loan but he is a worker trying to impress. And Darren bent can piss off if he’s unwilling to put in the work rate. You’re not Berbatov, buddy- you need to try a lot harder if you don’t have the same silky skills or some football genius.

The good news is that the best players on the pitch, apart from Pavlyuchenko, are working hard. Defoe, Modric, Lennon, Woodgate and Dawson. King gets let off from the hard work for injury. O’Hara and Ghaly are the other hard workers but some stupide arseholes booed one off the field. It guts me to see Lennon closing down opposition fullbacks only to look over and see the only other player doing similar is O’Hara.

Our weakened part-timers for the FA Cup:

Alnwick in goal. Gwan- give the lad another shot.

Defence: At right back Zokora because I think it’s actually, potentially, his best position and love to see those forward runs- he can also keep pace with Ronaldo coming back, or Gunter of Harry wants Zokora rested for tough-tackling stoke. In the center Rocha & a youth player, or Woodgate if he’s fit as it would be nice for Rocha to play a game alongside someone strong. At left back anyone except Bale or Ekotto. (Leigh Mills any good? Dorian Dervitte? Anyone out there got an aunt who plays a little footie and has more than 12 IQ points?)

A three man midfield of O’Hara and Ghaly (never going to happen*) for some tackling presence with Adel Taraabt or Bostock (and Jenas for a little while to see of he’s willing to commit like he used to). Realistically, though, KP Boateng for Ghaly (except he’s left on loan- so much for realism) or Bentley with instructions that he has to make a minimum of 10 tackles in the game (Mascherano, the PL top tackler, does 1 every 13 minutes on average, say Opta, but Bentley has a lot to make up for).

Up front give me Peckhart or Obika to start supported by Giovanni dos Santos on the left and Frazier Cmpbell on the right (except he can’t as he’s on loan from ManUre) so Luka Modric or whichever of Taraabt or Jenas doesn’t make it in midfield.

Some youngsters and fringe players supported by hard workers, tough tacklers and a spirited Spurs travelling support. Even if we lose I want to watch that.

*especially since he just left for Saudia Arabia

Hero

Gareth Southgate appears to be coming to the rescue of Tottenham fans everywhere by pricing Downing out of the market at 15million. Downing is a squad player in a top 6 team and a squad player is a sub 10mil (and preferably sub 7mil) purchase. If we have to have him I would prefer to get him for less than half a Robbie Keane, which he is.

Zeroes

The fans who are failing to get over themselves and Ghaly’s tantrum 18 months ago really need to go and bury their heads somewhere dark and moist and in the proximity of their sofa cushion. This is a guy who always gave 100% of what he had 100% of the time. He is also fairly quick, committed in the tackle and has a decent set of skills. This is the guy who stayed on the pitch after having three teeth kicked out of his head because he just loves to play football.

Striking solutions

Podolski is available for 9.6mil. Three goals in four matches in Germany’s World Cup Qualifying. Nuff said.

Bentley

Had the closest thing to a decent game against Wigan. Some nice touches and some of his crosses didn’t get cut out by the first man. An in-form Bentley would make a big difference to us. Is it finally time?

Leadership

The only manager to have a successful time under the reign of ENIC has been the man they didn’t pick. A caretaker-manager given a shot who was then undermined by the people from whom he needed support.

Glen Hoddle, their first pick: failed. Some French guy, (Santini?) who walked out on them replace by the guy they didn’t choose (Arenesen’s boy- remember) who they then undermined two (or one?) games into a season for their new boy Ramos whose pedigree was not enough to overcome the interfering, profiteering little fingers of the board under Mr. Levy.

Harry Redknapp is good and needs a shot at a club with a budget. A proper shot. A 5yr shot. He needs to not have to beg for that shot, for that chance. Spurs need to show loyalty to get loyalty. I don’t want a manager who has to crawl to the board with bowl in hand everytime there is a blip in form asking “please sir, can I have some more?”

The team

We need a midfield enforcer, a classy and quick central defender, a left winger and a striker to complete this team. Everyone knows this.

What Ramos did right, lest we forget

A 5-1 victory over Arsenal. A 2-1 Cup final victory over Chelsea. A rejuvenated Aaron Lennon. Bringing in a fitness coach so we could last 90 minutes. Bringing in a dietician so the players could improve their conditioning.

Eight games, two points? $100

Our former manager topping the Bundesliga? $200

Any talk of Levy losing his job? Priceless and, in fact, not apparently on the cards.

I might have given, for a $1 bet, the payouts on the first two but would never dream of betting against Levy the Limpet. This is a man who knows how to hang in there.

What is wrong? Do we really have no defensive manager? In reality our defence is about as bad as the one at Arsenal but we no longer have a cohesive midfield and star attack to strike any fear into our opposition. We need one more high quality defender. One with pace. King managed, in the past, to work with the junior Dawson because when mistakes were made by the youngster or him he could get back to correct the situation. His pace, when available is gone. He still reads the game well so a position in front of the back two might be his future and I do hope he has one.

Our midifeld is no longer cohesive and doesn’t provide good cover for the defence or co-ordinate well with it. They have passing class and skill but while they get used to playing together the leaks need to be stopped at the back. We need more of Jamie O’Hara in the first halves of games while the opposition wear themselves out trying to get past him and more Modric and Giovani in the second halves to take advantage of those tired legs.

Our attack is why Levy and/or Comolli need to go. None of us know who exactly caused the Arshavin and extra striker debacle but to have had to sign, quite literally, the final moments, a Manchester United trainee as our third striker is ludicrous and embarassing. I agree that our Manager is a top man. I agree we needed a fitness coach and we definitely look better in the last ten minutes of the matches- except for our coach who does look tired.

Our attack is incomplete. If you gut a team- which Ramos did, you need to replace that gut. We didn’t- specifically in attack and partially in defence and now the manager and all the rest of us have indigestion every single time the team steps out to play.

No guts. No glory.

Gutless, gutless Tottenham Hotspur.

Juande Ramos has his best chance snce arriving at White Hart Lane to make an on-the-pitch statement about where he can take the club. The man has pedigree and an good record in Spain and it is time for him to show that he can do the same in the Premiership.

The team is very much his now and it is seriously time to judge those performances. He tinkered like hell with the team after it secured European football through the Carling Cup which affected results negatively for the final third of the season leaving his Points-Per-Game average less than impressive and well below that of his predecessor Martin Jol.

The 1st 11 is harder to pick than ever. As a person who has never been a huge fan of any type of 4-3-3 formation the best 11 does seem to line up that way with Bentley and dos Santos (or Lennon) supporting our new Russian front man and Zokora, Jenas and Modric behind them. Although Lennon seems to have surged forward again under Ramos he is probably best utilised as some sort of quick super sub to take advantage of tired legs in an opposition team.

Mon 15th Sep Tottenham vs Aston Villa
Sun 21st Sep Tottenham vs Wigan
Sun 28th Sep Portsmouth vs Tottenham
Sun  5th Oct Tottenham vs Hull
Sun 19th Oct Stoke vs Tottenham
Sat 25th Oct Tottenham vs Bolton

21 points available. Let’s take 19 of them (only a draw against Portsmouth)

He signed a new contract with Tottenham less than 12 months ago for a lot more money knowing that Spurs could keep him till the end of his career peak (2yrs with an option on another 2) even after he knew Manchester United were after him.

Chicks dig him.

He has never been absent from training and continued to work hard.

He has never personally stated publicly that he wants to leave. The only comments attribute to him have been from dodgy media outlets and never on tape.

He has privately stated to the Chairman he would like to go to Manchester United.

He scores goals but doesn’t work hard off the ball. (well, not for us- not any more).

He has not prevented his agent pushing for a move and generally making Daniel Levy’s life difficult and the lives of the Taboid journals easy.

He wears an odd hair-thing on the pitch.

He is a talented footballer.

Let us just take the money. Let him go. I am tired of hearing about it. The club is bigger than one man.

But gouge Manchester United on the transfer fee.

spursfans.co.za – a place for south african spurs fans to meet

Is there any good news at all?

Berbatov’s mind is elsewhere, Spurs have lost their first 2 with the next match away to Chelsea (can we see one win from 4 looming? sound familiar?), we have only 1 fit first team striker and only 1 fit experienced defender, Bale acting like Ashley Cole and Gomes, all but a force of nature when in Holland, looks shaky.

So, any good news?

1. Modric is not going to have a problem with the “physical nature” of the Premier League as our beloved Mr. Wenger. Both Middlesbrough and Sunderland targeted him and he came off really well. While I bemoan the loss of Malbranque there is something really special here to replace him. His touch, pace, commitment and vision are all awesome.

2. Jenas looks at his best. We see the good Dr. Jenas flip over to the Mr. Hide too often but just looking at him in these games it seems Ramos has found the switch which gets Dr. Jenas to turn up.

3. Aaron Lennon, who was zhit last season, looked fantastic today. As good as he has ever looked.

4. King managed 90 minutes even if he wasn’t entirely himself.

5. Zokora looks like a brand new player at right back. His pace is utilised better than ever before. He may not be the solution against the top sides but looks to be a great attackin wingback.

6. We outplayed our opponents, a very uselful side, for 70 minutes.

7. Fulham beat Arsenal. Mr. Al-Fayed gets his first good news in years.

Ultimately I do not want any knee-jerk signings or firings. With good management this is a top 6 side and Juande Ramos is a Manager with Pedigree.

Prediction: 2w 1d 3l after the first 6.